"Fixing Arizona" by E. J. Montini

"Our state is out of money
It's billions that we need
And though it may sound funny
There's talk we may secede.

Our kids were kicked off welfare.
Our sick are out of luck.
Yet with audacious fanfare
Our leaders pass the buck.

They blame it on the migrants.
They blame it on D.C.
And when they need a new slant
They blame it on poor me.

They blame it on recession.
They blame the "Phoenix Lights."
They sometimes change direction
And say, "We need states' rights!"

The "birthers" get their blessing.
The newborns get their curse.
And while they're all digressing
We've got an empty purse.

But one man we elected
Has come up with a plan
That if it's not rejected
Would be Shakespearean.

With SB 1530
A poet we would name
To use words (that aren't dirty),
Our manners to reclaim.

Some say the bill is silly.
But what we've got is worse.
With things so willy-nilly
Why not trade vice for verse?

It wouldn't be high treason
In these unruly times
To fill our void of reason
With common sense that rhymes.

We could use a Robert Frost.
Our state does "love a wall."
Though being so obsessed with cost
We might need Monty Hall.

Perhaps an Edgar Allan Poe
To shout out, "Nevermore!"
Though leaders here put on a show
That drowns out any roar.

This kind of job is hard to sell.
Its benefits are sparse.
Our poet must be versed in hell
And also master farce.

But once we up the ante
I'm certain we'll deduce
We need one-quarter Dante
And three-quarters Dr. Seuss!"

Fixing Ariz. with rhyme, not reason